day-86

For some reason I have more than my fair share of people making random comments to me. Sometimes they are nice, sometimes weird, sometimes downright rude. I don’t know if I just come across as a push-over or as someone who really needs to have people make me aware of what they are thinking. I’ve already posted about someone making mean comments to me about being an “unwed teen mother” when I was pregnant with Dex (I was 24 and married for 2 years, not that it matters), someone making mean comments about me breastfeeding in public (I was actually in my own car). People make nice comments often too. They compliment something I’m wearing, my hair, the affection between my husband and I, my kids adorableness or good-behavior, etc. I guess I’m just one of those people who looks like I welcome comments, whatever they may be. And maybe I am.. I don’t know. I got off track. ↓

Today I had probably my first ever real bullying experience. Even as a teenager I don’t remember ever being really targeted or anyone being especially vicious. But here I am at the ripe old age of 29 I was bullied by some teenage girls in a bathroom. It happened at our local mall. We needed to grab a few things and thought the kids would enjoy a play in the play area.

Unfortunately, we found out pretty quickly after arriving that Gus had a rare diaper blowout and needed changed. Luckily I had a spare onesie in my bag but no pants or socks and it was too cold out to let him go without either of those. I also needed a clothing change because the t-shirt I was left with after I took off my dirty cardigan was way too small wouldn’t work without the sweater over it. So we got Gus changed, everyone settled at the play area and I ran to the nearest store (Old Navy-score) to grab a new shirt for me, pants and socks for Gus. I dropped off the clothes to Kai and ran to the bathroom to change.

And that’s when I ran into 3 older teenage girls. As I walked in they started laughing, pointing at me as I walked by, one of them said something about my muffin top. Already feeling self-concious, I rolled my eyes and mumbled, “talk to me after you’ve had 3 kids” and kept walking. They called out and said if they were as fat and ugly as me they wouldn’t bother getting new clothes but would rather wear a garbage bag because that’s where ugly trash belongs. I turned around and said, “you really want to talk to me about trash?” and one of the girls laughed and shoved me into the wall and then another one pulled my hair, jerking me backwards.

Now… I would like to preface this next part with the fact that I’ve got a lot of self-defense training and I am not ok with people grabbing me. There were 3 of them, we were alone, and 2 of them were a lot taller and more muscular than me. So… I brought my arm up and backhanded the girl pulling my hair… with my fist… and all of my weight behind it. The other 2 freaked out and they all ran out. I went into a stall and tried to stop shaking while I called Kai and changed my clothes. I was pretty shook up and a little afraid they were going to call the cops but I’m not sure what that would do since I was defending myself.

Let’s hope they don’t read the blog and that’s the end of that. 😐

Anyways. Today my thankful is confusing. I’m thankful that I’ve got enough self-esteem and self-confidence to stand up for myself.  I wish I had enough to not feel hurt and self-conscious. I’m thankful that it was me those girls picked to harass. I wish they had enough self-esteem and self-confidence to not treat others so terribly. I’m thankful I could defend myself but I wish things hadn’t escalated to such a crazy point. I wish they realized that their words and actions have consequences. I hope that girl ices her face, I bet it hurts. Ironically, the tee I bought on clearance says “LOVE.”

What are you thankful for today?